Hi all and welcome to the third edition of the Penalty Box. First off I would
like to wish everyone and thier families a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
from me and my family.
We have quite a bit in this month's edition. We have the whole two bids for
the All-Star site. We have some quotable quotes as well as an interview with GM
Marc Hebert.
CONTENTS:
1. FORWARD OF THE WEEK
2. DEFENSEMAN OF THE WEEK
3. GOALIE OF THE WEEK
4. GOON OF THE WEEK
5. BROTHER LOVE GM QUOTES
6. BROTHER LOVE INTERVIEW WITH KNIGHTS GM MARC HEBERT
7. ALL-STAR SITE BIDS
8. NEWS AND/OR RUMOURS
===============================================================================
1. FORWARD OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: Pierre Turgeon (Hitmen):
5 gls. 9 asts. 14 pts. 10 gms.
Pierre Turgeon unseeds Eric Lindros from winning his third straight first star.
Turgeon had a good game against the Winter Hawks where he picked up a goal and
two assists en route to a 5-3 victory.
#2 STAR: Keith Primeau (Freeze):
9 gls. 6 asts. 15 pts. 11 gms.
Keith had an exceptional week after missing out on any of the awards in the last
edition. Keith put forth his best effort against the Stormbringers in which he
netted the hat trick even though the Freeze lost 5-4.
#3 STAR: Randy McKay (Force):
11 gls. 5 asts. 16 pts. 12 gms.
Randy has worked very hard over the last few years and it looks to be starting
to pay off. Randy unloaded in a game against the Pylons by single handedly
taking care of them. McKay had three goals and an assist including the game
winner.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Eric Lindros (Crunch) 6 points $50,000
Pierre Turgeon (Hitmen) 3 points $25,000
Keith Primeau (Freeze) 3 points $22,500
Teemu Selanne (Voodoo) 2 points $15,000
Brendan Shanahan (Pylons) 2 points $15,000
Petr Nedved (Knights) 1 point $ 7,500
Randy McKay (Force) 1 point $ 7,500
==============================================================================
2. DEFENSEMAN OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: Al MacInnis (Hitmen):
1 gl. 9 asts. 10 pts. 10 gms. + 6
With his overpowering shot Al didn't score but one goal but was solid at both
ends of the ice. Al had his best game against the Melted Ice where he had 3
assists and was a +2.
#2 STAR: Brian Leetch (Goal Busters):
3 gls. 4 asts. 7 pts. 11 gms. + 9
Brian showed both his abilities this week. He had his best performance in a tie
against the Sea Lions. Brian had a goal, an assist and was a +3 in the game.
#3 STAR: Derek Morris (Winter Hawks):
0 gls. 5 asts. 5 pts. 10 gms. + 8
Noted more for his defensive play Derek gets some recognition for that this week
by getting the number three star. Derek had his best game against the Voodoo
where he had two assist and was a +2 helping the Hawks to a 4-1 victory.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Al MacInnis (Hitmen) 3 points $25,000
Bill Houlder (Slash) 3 points $25,000
Adrian Aucoin (Voodoo) 3 points $25,000
Brian Leetch (Goal Busters) 2 points $15,000
Rob Blake (Meatheads) 2 points $15,000
Derian Hatcher (Freeze) 2 points $15,000
Derek Morris (Winter Hawks) 1 point $ 7,500
Igor Kravchuk (Dragons) 1 point $ 7,500
Jason Woolley (Stormers) 1 point $ 7,500
==============================================================================
3. GOALIE OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: Mike Richter (Force):
3-1-2 2.00 GAA .935 Save % 30.8 S/GM 2 SO
Mike had an incredible week seeing alot of shots and still shutting down the
opposition. Mike registered back to back shutouts with a 4-0 thirty save
performance. He then continued his hot hand by shutting out the Hacksaws 2-0
with a twenty-eight save performance.
#2 STAR: Dominic Roussel (Sea Lions):
4-1-2 2.00 GAA .929 Save % 28.0 S/GM 2 SO
Not normally a starter Dominic made the most of his opportunity this week. He
put in a strong performance ended up with the number two star. Dominic has
posted two shutouts in a row but only has 1 win. He had a fourteen save
performance against the Spiders in which he won 4-0 and then in a 0-0 tie
against the Wildcards where he had a 26 save performance.
#3 STAR: Roman Turek (Stormers):
4-2-2 1.50 GAA .938 Save % 24.4 S/GM 1 SO
Roman has taken over the starting duties and has made the best of it. Roman had
his best game against the Ice Bolts where he made 23 saves in a 1-0 shutout.
Here are the up-to-date standings:
Mike Richter (Force) 3 points $25,000
John Vanbiesbrouck (Hacksaws) 3 points $25,000
Tomas Vokoun (Force) 3 points $25,000
Dominick Hasek (Dragons) 3 points $22,500
Dominic Roussel (Sea Lions) 2 points $15,000
Byron Dafoe (Voodoo) 2 points $15,000
Roman Turek (Stormers) 1 point $ 7,500
Terriers 3some (Terriers) 1 point $ 7,500
=============================================================================
4. GOON OF THE WEEK
#1 GOON: Bob Probert (Freeze):
72 PIM's in 11 games 2-2-1
Probie took over for Paul Laus this week as it seems Paul is having problems
finding a dance partner. Probie put up 16 PIM's versus the Jugheads during the
Freeze's 6-2 victory. (Editor's note: Probert's two losses came at the hands of
Twist and Chase of the Stormers during the same game.)
#2 GOON: Paul Laus (Freeze):
49 PIM's in 11 games 3-0-0
Paul didn't have his best week which could be that he rarely loses or ties a
fight so someone has to be willing to take a punch when they fight him. Paul put
up 17 PIM's against the Terriers in which he beat the hell out of Sutter and
then celebrated which gave him a 10 minute misconduct.
#3 GOON: Brendan Shanahan (Pylons):
44 PIM's in 10 games 0-0-3
Brendan known a little more for his scoring touch rather than dropping his
gloves was a bitter man this past week. Brendan put up 12 PIM's against the
Force in which they lost 5-2. Brendan fought Randy McKay and Marc Bergivan.
There was more dancing than punching but they did enough to get the fighting
majors.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Paul Laus (Freeze) 8 points $65,000
Bob Probert (Freeze) 3 points $25,000
Brendan Shanahan (Pylons) 3 points $22,500
Owen Nolan (Crunch) 2 points $15,000
Rob Blake (Meatheads) 2 points $15,000
==============================================================================
5. BROTHER LOVE GM QUOTES
- The HALIFAX FORCE
BROTHER GERALD, a few weeks ago, we came knocking to talk to you
about the play of a certain Brother Ziggy Palffy, however, the
man we should have been talking to you about is non other then
the play of BROTHER RANDY MCKAY! After close to 32 games in
the WLUHL this season, Brother Randy has put up 21 goals and can
is being placed in the same categories as Pavel Bure, Paul Kariya
and Eric Lindros. We all would love to hear what you have to say
about Brother Randy's play?
I don't think you can put him in the same category as Bure or Kariya
because he is not a sniper, he's the best power forward in the league. His
job is to stand in front of the net, fight off the other team's defensemen,
and deflect the puck into the net. Every coach in the league knows this,
but very few can do anything about it. Of course, the big bonus is his
excellent defensive play - he never lets his man by him, and he leads the
league with a whopping +21 rating.
It's unfortunate that this style of play gets so little respect around the
league, because Randy deserves to be on the all-star team ahead of those
cream puffs who can't take a legal check, let alone the sh*t he deals with
on a nightly basis. Any intelligent GMs would be ringing my phone off the
hook with trade offers (not that I'm anxious to get rid of him) but all
I've heard from was a drunk Don Cherry who wanted to kiss him.
All I can say to the critics is: just pray that your goalie doesn't have
to see Randy McKay's back in front of the net, because it means the end is
near!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
- The HALIFAX HACKSAWS
BROTHER ROB, Brother Love has been watching a team with no Love on
it for the past couple seasons, but this season, the Hacksaws are
FULL OF LOVE! The Hacksaws have pulled themselves out of the gutter
and tied for 13th overall with a .560 winning percentage. Brother
Rob, for a team that could not score in years past, you have a
4-some that seems to be always having something happening on the
ice. Brother's Ronnie Francis, Kevin Stevens, Dino Ciccarelli and
Valeri Bure are putting a lot of pucks into the oppositions net.
We would just like know what Brother Rob's feeling is toward this
little 4-some, toward his teams play?
Well Brother Love you see......its like this. Ronnie helped me build
this team from the Glaciers to the Hacksaws....his linemates got stale,
his play got affected. So I deal him, Sanderson, and Heinze away.
Now as far as all the love you and the rest of the WLUHL be
seein....well thats quite simply a chemical equation my man...Well you
know how Sesame Street is always brought to you by the number this..and
the letter that..Well the WLUHL9 Season of the Halifax Hacksaws is
broguht to you by the letter E. Thats Ecstacy, MDMA, whatever you wanna
call it...i slip it in their gatorade..works wonders dontcha think?
Ron's rebirth here in Hali with Dino(returning form a stellar year),
Kev(proving he still had it), and Val(making his OWN name) couldn't have
been at a better time...solid goaltending...decent defencemen...it all
has us poised to make a good playoff run. I admit something is
missing...every year the winning team ahs somethin that puts them over
the top....be it LeClair, be it Hasek...its out there....Ive had a
couple talks....none have really panned out....but I have nearly another
quarter of the season left for trading...And I plan on taking advantage
of it....This is a winning year. And it will stay that way. lead by
Ronnie, Dino, Val and Kev...with Beezer in nets, and hopefully a new
ocuple d-men soon to come...I will be a Force....thats right Gerald ...a
Force to be reckoned with..
Rob
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The CALIFORNIA SEA LIONS
BROTHER RICHARD, Brother Love has been carefully watching the
play of the Expansion Sea Lions, and even though he exepcted
a rough first season, Brother Love has been surprised about the
play of Brother Dominic Roussel who has, well, been on fire!
We were just wonder if we could have some thoughts from you about
Brother Dominic's play now, and if this was what you expected
from him?
Glad to finally meet you, Brother, even if it is concerning Roussel. When
we drafted him, we didn't expect jack. Yeah, now he has had a couple of
shut outs recently, and his goals against is pretty good. But if it wasn't
for Peter Forsberg and Shawn Chambers playing their asses off and never
coming to the bench, Roussel would be on the first plane to whatever
contender is disillusioned enough to take his salary off our books. Dominic
has played OK and now has two shutouts, but our backup has two shutouts,
too.
All those who want to glorify Dominic and say he is the reason why have the
biggest lead of any division leader can kiss my ass and send a personal
apology to Peter Forsberg. We have too many guys on this team that have
paided their dues and deserve more credit than some sieve who will most
likely be cleaning out the Holy Aviator Lavatory in two years.
Does that answer your question, Brother? Again, glad to meet you.
:-)
RF
BROTHER JEFF, Brother Love would like to hear some of your
thoughts about non other then the "Big E" himself, Brother
Eric Lindros. With 21 goals and 24 assists he is doing
nothing less then leading the league in points. What does
Brother Jeff have to say about Brother Eric's play this
season for the Crunch?
Eric has fit into the Crunch lineup like a glove, so did Jagr but I think
it might of been OJ's glove. The Big E has single handedly taken our club
to the next level, he has been erasing players along the boards yet staying
out of the Penalty Box.
As well as being a top face off man the big Bruiser is also excelling
this year when the teams are 5 on 5, less then 10 pecent of his goals are
on the Power Play. After an impressive year last season the Crunch had an
overhall in the offseason trading 9 regulars from last years roster, yet
Eric was able to come in here and build some team chemistry early and the
team has come together as if they have played their whole careers together.
If the Crunch can stay healthy Lindros well be a big part of the Crunch's
run at the cup!!!!!!!!
CRUNCH
=============================================================================
6. BROTHER LOVE INTERVIEW WITH KNIGHTS GM MARC HEBERT
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls I would like to once again welcome
you to the BROTHER LOVE SHOW! Today, we have with us, a GM who currently
sits 6th in the league on the All-Time Win's list with 198 wins, a GM
who has had his team at the top of the league in all but one season in
the WLUHL, PLEASE WELCOME... BROTHER MARC HEBERT!!!
1. Brother Marc, as I had just said, for the first few seasons, you were
one of the top team's in the league. However last season, it seemed
that there was no love in the Knights organization. Was there any
reason for this?
Yeah, bad planning on my part. Last season, after all those contracts
things were done, I ended up with like 8 players left on my team, some of
them lost to free agency, some others not being rated after the transfer
to the new sim. So basically, if I didn't want to end up with a $100
millions payroll, I have to sign cheap players just in order to ice a
team. Basically, I gave up on the season before it even started, and tried
to focus on this season.
Since the Knights were pretty high in the ratings the season before, we
were drafting low in the entry draft, but we managed to get at least one
very good prospect in Curtis Brown.
It wasn't until mid season that I finally decided to trade guys like
Roenick, Housley, Nolan for young talent. They were all underperforming
last season, and I knew they were great player, but they simply weren't
doing it here.
2. Well, this season it seems to us that you have found the Love was
again with the Knights and yes, OH YES, they are playing like they
were a few seasons ago. They are once again one of the best teams in
the league sitting currently 2nd overall in the league, 2 points
behind the 1st place Goal Busters. Can you explain how you were
able to bring the Love back to the Knights?
Well, with last season's trades, lots of young talents were brought in,
and those guys are maturing pretty well right now. The entry draft and
dispersal draft of this season also helped us a lot as since the team
ended last season very low in the rankings, we drafted high this season.
We missed pretty much everything last season, no real #1 center, no
offensive quarterback. Defense, all in all was really deficient. We were
not scoring, allowing too much shots...
Lots of guys have really improved their play since last season. Sebastien
Bordeleau, Steve Rucchin, Curtis Brown, Andrei Nazarov, Scott Niedermayer,
Jeff Friesen... The late addition of Mattias Norstrom last season also was
a great move, this guy clearly isn't getting the respect he deserves
around the league. Trevor Kidd is seing a lot less rubber this season and
is a lot more confident between the pipes this year.
The team is younger, bigger, faster. And a lot of our players haven't
reached their prime yet.
3. With the sudden change in your teams play, one could have seen
a flurry of trades. However, through the entire offseason, up until
today, we have seen the Knights make only one deal, and that was
to aquire Fredrik Olausson who after 32 games has 10 goals and 10
assists. Was this plan of yours a season long rebuilding process from
last season, or is this more or less just fate? How has Olausson
helped the play of your team?
Like I said before, last season was a season of transition. All year long,
we have been planning for this season. I have contacted a few gms about
possible deals, but I feel we have a very well balanced team right now. We
tried to draft smartly and at every position this summer so we could fill
the obvious gaps we had and I think we fared pretty well in that area.
The only placed where I felt we were still too weak was defense. Besides
Niedermayer and Norstrom, there wasn't much there. Gauthier and Traverse
have good potential, yet, they are still rookies. Since we very very
strong at center with Nedved, Rucchin, Brown, Marleau and Bordeleau, the
conclusion was obvious, I have to trade one of them to get a defenseman.
And who would be traded was also pretty obvious.
Since we are a small market team, Marleau's near 7 millions made him a
player we couldn't affort, unfortunately. Olausson brought us a very
offensively creative defenseman, who's also solid in his own zone. To tell
the truth, I didn't expect that much from him offensively. He has really
transformed our power play. 6 of his 10 goals - all scored with the
Knights - have been on the power play. He has really stabilized our
defense, and he's contributing even more than Marleau was offensively.
4. When we look up and down your roster, we can see a lot of players
putting up some good numbers, but nobody, and I mean nobody
can miss the numbers that Brother Petr Nedved is putting up for you.
He is second in the league in scoring with 12 goals and 30 assists
and is clearly a force to be reckoned with. It seems the gamble paid
off for you when you decided to hold onto Nedved for WLUHL8 when he
went over to play in Czech. Republic due to a contract squabble. However,
it seems that he did find Love back with the Knights. What are some
of your thoughts about his play and your gamble?
We seriously considered firing him last season, when he was costing us
money and not even playing. Holding on to him was a difficult decision but
he's just too talented to let go so easily. We also didn't was to trade
him, like he had demanded. His reasons for not playing here last season
were money, but also that he wanted to play for a contender.
Seing that we were serious about getting back on track on the ice, his
salary demands lowered, and he also really missed the NHL last season. He
was the one that called us last summer, with more reasonable demands,
which we were able to meet.
I believe he was demanding that much last season because he knew we
wouldn't be able to pay and he wanted to be traded. And I think he feels
sorry about it and wants to give back to the fans what he has deprived
them of last season.
5. Underacheivers? Are there any on the Knights? As we look up and
down your roster, everyone seems to being playing well above expectations
and there does not seem to be one sour apple at all on this rosters.
What are you thoughts?
I can't think of any players I'm not satisfied with so far. Darren McCarty
was off to a slow start, as was Dallas Drake but they are back on track
now.
Curtis Brown came to me once asking for more ice time. I made him
understand that he has to deserve it. He has the talent to get lots more
ice time, but until it shows on the ice, he's gonna get the ice time he
deserves. He was recently promoted to third line duties instead of 4th
line.
6. Deals...Deals...Deals? Will we be seeing Brother Marc daring to mess
with the team chemistry and make any moves? If so, who would you be looking
to bring in as the team doesn't seem to have any holes to fill? Can you
afford to mess with a good thing?
I was planning of staying put, except if a great opportunity presented
itself, which it hasn't... yet. Now, I'm really considering trading some
youth as well as picks to get a few of the things I think we miss to be
even more of a contender. I'd like to get a bonafide scoring right winger.
McCarthy is more like a 2nd-3rd line guy, so is Audette. As well, I'd like
to get a defenseman who can bruise players who try to stand in the crease
and can come out of the corners with the puck, basically a hard hitting,
stay-at-home type guy.
I inquired about Lance Pitlick already but the Ice Barons want to hold on
to him and I can understand that. Were gonna wait until the good
opportunity presents itself. Probably when the trade deadline nears, some
team are gonna try to trade some high salary guys who are eligible for
free agency next season so we might try to grab one or two at that time.
Things are pretty quiet our way for next summer with free agency, with
only Jeff Friesen worth speaking of who's becoming a RFA, but he has
already assured us he will sign here. Actually, we are pretty close to a 4
years extension to his contract right now.
Well, I would just like to Thank Brother Marc for taking this time to
talk to me. As again, it was an honor to spend such a good time with
you and like always, I just want to let everyone out there know that...
I LOVE YOU!!!!
===============================================================================
7. ALL-STAR SITE BIDS
Of course, in my humble oppinion, St. George is the perfect site to have
the All-Star Weekend.
We have tons of great golf courses including Entrada which you can play if
you have Arnold Palmer's Lynk's. Entrada is one of the courses on that
video game.
It's an amazing golf course carved out of lava rock and surrounded by
beautiful red cliffs and desert. I haven't played the Lynx version of the
course but I've been out on the real thing and it is dang impressive. It is
also damn hard. I guarantee you WILL loose several golf balls on this
course. And in all liklyhood you will probably loose seveal dozen golf
balls. (Once you hit them in the lava rock, there is no recovering them and
several narrow fairways and lined on both sides by lava.) It's really a
darn scary golf course.
There is also the Oasis Golf Course in Mesquite, designed by Arnold Palmer,
another fantastic golf course. Not to mention, Sunbrook (more lava), Green
Springs (there ar two holes with this huge canyon you have to hit the ball
OVER), The Palms (I think it's the fifteenth, you drive out onto a par five
from the top of a 150 foot high cliff), and Sky Mountain (more beautiful
red cliffs all over the place right along the Hurricane Fault), all of
which are pretty darn good courses. On top of that there's another half
dozen municipal courses I won't even mention.
Las Vegas is very close by for all your gambling needs (and women for the
few single GM's still left out there) and the weather is usually pretty
darn nice. The high yesterday was 54 and there was not a cloud in the sky.
And for all you crazy Canadians who can't get enough of the snow, there's
Brain Head Ski Resort a short drive north of here. All that great Rocky
Mountian powder that makes taking a short cut though the woods on your way
down the slope all that much more fun is at your beck and call.
Both the Dragons and the Voodoo call the city home and while the Dragons
forked over the jack (with a few local subsidies) to build a state of the
art facility three years ago the Voodoo cut a few corners and there are
rumors of gross misappropriations of funds by the original owner (Rob
Shore), most of which were started by the new owner (Hans Meyer). In any
case the VooDome is virtually falling down around the fans even though it's
only two years old.
In any case to be fair to both team we could perhaps co-host the All-Star
festivites, the Voodoo could host the skills competition and the Dragons
could host the game.
Actually there's a few of those that aren't TOO expensive.
Oasis and the Palms run about $70-90 for a round in the winter, Entrada is
around $60, Green Springs $50, Sunbrook and Sky Mountian $40, and the
municipal courses which are also pretty good in this neck of the woods run
about $25 for 18 holes in winter time. In the off season (summer time when
it's 100 in the shade at 8am) you can really get some great deals. ($18 for
18 holes at the Palms, $25 at the Oasis, Sunbrook drops to $20, and the
city courses are all $16 for 18 holes) Summertime is the only time I can
afford to play golf at the Palms and Oasis but it's worth braving the heat
to play there especially if you luck out and go on a cloudy day when it's
not too hot.
But the best course for the jack is Sunbrook. 27 holes, 9 set in the lava,
(Black Rock), and the other 18 (Woodbridge and The Pointe) are more
traditional type nines. During the summer it's $10 to play nine holes and
that's a great price to play that course. The newspaper I work for sponsers
a charity tournament for the American Cancer Society at Sunbrook every
spring and we play all 27 holes in one day and man is that a fun day of
golf. I'd almost rather play Sunbrook than any of the more expensive
courses even if you don't factor in the price.
In any case, the reason I am sending this out is that I remember somebody
doing up a golf tournament last year for the All-Star break and I was
wondering if St. George does win the All-Star game bid, if they wouldn't
mind running the tournament again this year?
So there you have it my fellow GM's, the All-Star Game proposal from St.
George, Utah.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
WATERLOO - After hearing about the lack of nominations for this
years All-Star site, GM Jason Stumpf of the Waterloo Hitmen
called a press conference around noon time today. When we arrived,
we found Mr. Stumpf in a great mood. As everyone settled in,
Mr. Stumpf began.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to thank you for showing up on
such a short notice. As you know, there have not been many nominations
sent in for the upcoming All-Star site. So, I would like to officially
say that the Waterloo Hitmen have put their name into the hat for the
site. About 5 years ago the Hitmen held the All-Star game here in
Waterloo, and it would be a privalege to hold it again. We have made
some improvements to the Owen Hart Memorial Auditorium which has made it
much better to enjoy games by both the fans and the media. However, that
is only a small part of what I have offered the league. I have offered
them first, a junior prospects game on the first day of the All-Star break.
There, the public FOR FREE would be able to come in and watch the WLUHL
and other prospects compete to show everyone what the future of this league
holds.
For the second day, we will star to get really into the festivities.
I would like to take something from last years All-Star game.
Of course, there will be a skills competition, but I am offering up
a Royal Rumble for all GM's and Coaches to compete in. Only one person
from each organziation can enter this if they wish. As well, I will also
have individual matches for those GM's, Coaches and player who would like
to take someone on, manno eh mannon!
Now, for the third day, the actual All-Star Game Day.....
As well, for the Pre-Game performance, I have been able to get "Live" to
come in and play. After the game, well folks, we are turning it up with
a double, live performance with Shania Twain and Jennifer Lopez doing
their thing.
AND... if that isn't enough, we are working on it, but nothing has
been confirmed yet, but I have tentatively schedule in an Evening Gown
match, that's right... to win this match you must simply be the very
last person in the ring, with her clothes on!!!! So that means everyone
else, must be stripped down to their bra and panties... or anything
else less then that! Right now, I have Sable, Shania Twain!, Jennifer Lopez!
Maria Carey and Britney Spears signed up for this rumble! I am working on
a few others, including my very own body guard, Buffy "The Vampire Slayer",
Ice Barons representative Kim Bassinger, and a few other stars. However, we
are waiting on to hear from a few of their lawyers, as well as what the
league has to say about this... as this is supposed to be a "Family
Oriented" weekend.
Anyway, Ladies and Gentlemen, that is the proposal from the Waterloo Hitmen
organization. We will have to wait and see what happens, but last time we
had it in Waterloo, IT WAS ONE HELL OF A PARTY! AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT
HAPPEN AGAIN!
Thank you for coming out tonight and spending your time with me."
With that, Hitmen GM Jason Stumpf left the stage, with a huge grin on
his face. Whether the grin is there because he knows he has a good chance at
getting the All-Star game, or for the fact that in his mind, he is imagining
a ring holding Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kim Basinger, Britney Spears, Jennifer
Lopez, Mariah Carey, Sable and Shania Twain! all in their skimpy little
bra's and panties, we don't know, but all we can say is that if he can pull
off that Evening Gown Match, then DAMN IT ALL, HE BEST BE GETTING THE GAME!
From Waterloo "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn saying so long, good night and if
you ain't down with all those damn fine a**es in one ring all at one time
wearing itty bitty little panties... then I got two words for you....
SUCK IT!!!!!!
==============================================================================
8. NEWS AND RUMOURS
WATERLOO
Koivu Breaks 400 Point Mark While MacInnis is at 197.
Waterloo - On Day 48, Saku Koivu of the Waterloo Hitmen became
the first player in Hitmen history to record his 400th career
point. While playing at home, facing the Pinkerton Pylons, Koivu
received a pass behind the net from forward Martin Rucinsky.
Koivu worked the puck down low until he spotted defenceman Lyle
Odelein sneaking in from the point. Koivu passed Odelein the puck.
Odelein went in for the first shot, but Pylons defenceman Scott
Lachance went down to block the shot. Odelein, then faked it,
stepped around Lachance and took a wrist shot, sending the puck
over the shoulder of Tom Barasso. With that, Koivu collected his
400th point in his 347 game. After the game, Koivu was excited
about his accomplishment.
"What can I say. This is a huge moment for me. Mr. Stumpf traded
for me at the begining of WLUHL5, and since then he has given me
lots of ice time, and has played me with some of the best players
in the game including Vincent Damphousse, Luc Robitaille, Brett
Hull and now John LeClair, Pavel Bure and Martin Rucinsky. It has
been a privalege to say the least. I have been part of two Prime
Minister Trophy Winners and one WLUHL Cup. I hope that we can do
it again this season."
With Koivu reaching the 400 mark, we can see that other Hitmen
players are also closing in on certain platues. However, the watch
is on All-Star defenceman Al MacInnis. MacInnis currently has 54
goals and 143 assists giving him 197 points. MacInnis has been
struggling this year since a shoulder injury in preseason. However,
it is expected that over the next couple weeks. the All-Star
defenceman should hit the 200 mark for the Hitmen.
KNIGHTS
Quebec City - Last season, the Knights were pitiful to watch. Management
finally gave up on the season about halfway through, and entered a
rebuilding stage. Well, about a full year later, the Knights stand 2nd
overall, only 2 points out of the lead, and after only 32 games played,
they are only 2 wins shy of last season's pitiful 21 win in 74 games.
Last season, the Knights record was:
Knights 74 21 46 7 49 165 229 .331
This season:
32 19 9 4 42 113 89 .656
Projection for 74 games:
74 44 21 9 97 261 206 .656
Looking at those numbers, we can see that the Knights are on pace for
scoring nearly 100 more goals than last season, which represents a great
turnaround since scoring goals was their biggest problem last season,
where their offense was the 3rd worst among the league. No only has
defence improved, but defense as well is getting better.
Now, nearly halfway through this season, the Knights are faced with a
great dilemma; Should they be trading some of their bright future to try
and take a run at the cup this season?
The Knights are very young, and some more veteran leadership would be
welcomed but who should be traded if anyone? First off, the Knights have 5
picks in the upcoming entry draft (KNI1,2,3-ICB1,2). There's no doubt in
this reporters' mind that with the young team they currently have, the
Knights could trade some of thos picks.
When we look at the players themselves, at center, you don't touch at this
squad. Nedved, Rucchin are great players and the leaders of this team.
Curtis Brown is a young player who still has to polish some aspects of his
game but will be a solid NHLer for years to come. Bordeleau is a great 4th
line center, and currently 4th in the league in face offs percentage.
Left wing is also very good, with Friesen, Samsonov, Dumont, and one of
Nazarov and Simon. This is probably where you should look at if you want
to make a move. Dumont would be a good prey in a trade, being young and
offensively gifter. Packaged with a 1st and/or 2nd pick, he could land you
a solid 1st line RW we are missing or a good hard hitting defenseman. You
don't want to trade either Samsonov or Friesen because you know for sure
you are gonna regret it sometime soon.
RW is looking good but not great. Darren McCarty and Dallas Drake are good
players but not 1st line material. McCarty is currently handling 1st line
duties but that's not where you want to see him, though he has really
stepped up his game lately. Donald Audette will go back to 1st line duties
soon, after coming back from an injury but he missed over a month of
action and is looking out of synch.
Defense has looked great since Olausson came over from the Ice Barons and
offensive support from the point, with Olausson, Niedermayer and Denis
Gauthier combining for 24 goals, has never been better. But, besides
Gauthier and Norstrom, you don't really see any hard checkers in the
Knights defense and a hard hitting defenseman who comes out of the corner
with the puck is what the Knights should be after.
Between the pipes, Trevor Kidd has a good handle on things, posting a 2.69
gaa and .910 save percentage. Rookie J.S. Aubin is also playing
increasingly well, with a 2.09 gaa and .931 save percentage so expect to
see him more and more until the end of the season.
- Bertrand Raymond pour WLUHL Paper
ICE BARONS
The Ice Barons are still shopping around for another defenseman.
Recently the IBs had 4 D on the IR (yes, at the same time) and had to
play a 34 rated D as their sixth guy. AGM Bassinger had to strap on the
blades just to hold a practice (although that's about all that she
wore). Players like Juneau, Rob Brown, most prospects, most other
players, and draft picks are available. Untouchables include Morrison,
Whitney, Marleau and Irbe.
VOODOO
Rumors circulating out of the Voodoo front office report Vincent Damphousse
is not happy in St. George.
"I hear he liked Shasta Reservoir too much," said an unnamed Voodoo front
office source, who was probably Brian the cleaning guy. "And he's unhappy
with the centering situation. All of a sudden Mark Messier and Joey
Nieuwendyk come to the team and that leaves him as the third guy on the
checking line. NO thanks!"
GM Hans K. Meyer is adamantly denying he is thinking about shipping
Damphousse back to Shasta.
"We gave half of our team away to get this guy," he said. "I gave up my
German golfing buddy, so if this dork doesn't like it here, that's tough."
In other news, the Voodoo front office shakeup continues. Charisma
"Cordelia" Carpenter has been hired full time as the Voodoo public relations
specialist. On the show Angel, she has proved he can handle office work and
then every once in a while she gets these visions that predict the future.
"I can see at least three Voodoo making the all star team," she said
prophetically. "I can also see myself buying those cute Dolce and Gabana
pants I saw in Vegas at Caesar's."
==============================================================================
Jason Kolsrud
ICQ #4680899
http://www.clinton.net/~jkolsrud
jkolsrud@clinton.net
GM Sioux City Stormers WLUHL
GM Des Moines Dominators WHL
GM Dubuque Dominators WFHL
GM Anaheim Mighty Ducks MFHL
GM Iowa Ice Kickers KHL
WLUHL Paper Boy
THIS PAGE WAS CREATED BY JaSoN Stumpf