Hi all and welcome to the second edition of the Penalty Box. We have alot of
great stuff for you again in this edition mainly due to Brother Love taking some
time to get some quotes and to sit down and do an interview. There are a couple
things I would like to mention (and will again when asking for the next
nominations). Could I get all the GM's who send in nominations to put there team
name on there somewhere. Makes things a little easier for me. As well you can
send in as many nominations from your team for each category as you feel
neccesary. If your top line each scored 15 points by all means send all three
in. There is no restriction on how many spots your team can take up.
CONTENTS:
1. FORWARD OF THE WEEK
2. DEFENSEMAN OF THE WEEK
3. GOALIE OF THE WEEK
4. GOON OF THE WEEK
5. BROTHER LOVE GM QUOTES
6. BROTHER LOVE INTERVIEW WITH STORMERS GM JASON KOLSRUD
7. NEWS AND RUMOURS
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1. FORWARD OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: Eric Lindros (Crunch):
12 gls. 7 asts. 19 pts. 10 gms.
Lindros once again takes the first star with a stellar performance this past
couple of weeks. Led by a three goal, four point night in an 8-1 bombing of the
Wildcards Eric set the stage again for this edition.
#2 STAR: Teemu Selanne (Voodoo):
8 gls. 12 asts. 20 pts. 11 gms.
Teemu had two 1 goal, 3 assists, 4 points performances over the last couple of
weeks. The first came in a 5-0 shutout of the Dogs and the second came in a 6-0
shutout of the Manglers.
#3 STAR: Petr Nedved (Knights):
5 gls. 14 asts. 19 pts. 11 gms.
Petr had his biggest game in a 7-2 walloping of the Goal Busters. He had 3 goals
and 2 assists in the win. One of his assists helped set up the eventual game
winner.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Eric Lindros (Crunch) 6 points $50,000
Teemu Selanne (Voodoo) 2 points $15,000
Brendan Shanahan (Pylons) 2 points $15,000
Petr Nedved (Knights) 1 point $ 7,500
Keith Primeau (Freeze) 1 point $ 7,500
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2. DEFENCEMAN OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: Bill Houlder (Slash):
3 gls. 7 asts. 10 pts. 11 gms. +11
With a talented offensive Dmen Bill was the least likely of the Slash Dmen to
have such a great couple of weeks. Bill started it all with a 2 goal, +3
performance in a 6-0 vicotry over the Hacksaws.
#2 STAR: Rob Blake (Meatheads):
6 gls. 4 asts. 10 pts. 11 gms. + 8
Rob was rock solid over these last couple of weeks. He shown brightest in a 4-3
victory over the StormBringers. Rob had 2 goals, 1 assist and was a +1 in the
game.
#3 STAR: Igor Kravchuk (Dragons):
0 gls. 3 asts. 3 pts. 10 gms. +11
Not a big offensive couple of weeks for Igor but a stellar defensive performance
gets him the number three star. Igor has been very steady even in Dragons
losses. His two biggest performances in a 5-4 loss to the Stormers where he had
an assist and was a +2 and was a +3 in a 4-3 loss to the Winter Hawks.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Bill Houlder (Slash) 3 points $25,000
Adrian Aucoin (Voodoo) 3 points $25,000
Rob Blake (Meatheads) 2 points $15,000
Derian Hatcher (Freeze) 2 points $15,000
Igor Kravchuk (Dragons) 1 point $ 7,500
Jason Woolley (Stormers) 1 point $ 7,500
==============================================================================
3. GOALIE OF THE WEEK
#1 STAR: John Vanbiesbrouck (Hacksaws):
9-0-0 1.78 GAA .933 Save % 29.9 S/GM
"Bieser" didn't register a shut-out but had many one-two goal games. His best
came in a 3-1 victory over the Pylons in which "Bieser" stopped 34 of 35 shots.
#2 STAR: Byron Dafoe (Voodoo):
7-3-1 1.88 GAA .931 Save % 26.2 S/GM 3 SO
Byron put together three shut-outs during the past two weeks but really didn't
have many shots to stop in those three games. In a 5-0 vicotry over the Dogs he
made 22 saves. In another 5-0 win over the WaveRunners he made only 13 saves and
in a 6-0 win over the Manglers he made just 21 saves.
#3 STAR: Dominick Hasek (Dragons):
5-4-1 2.09 GAA .929 Save % 27.3 S/GM 3 SO
Not one of his best performances although any goalie in the league would take
those numbers. He also managed a streak of 197 minutes and 42 seconds of
shut-out hockey including three straight shut-outs against the Goal Busters
(2-0, 32 saves), Winter Hawks (1-0, 28 saves) and agains the Dogs (1-0, 30
saves).
Here are the up-to-date standings:
John Vanbiesbrouck (Hacksaws) 3 points $25,000
Tomas Vokoun (Force) 3 points $25,000
Dominick Hasek (Dragons) 3 points $22,500
Byron Dafoe (Voodoo) 2 points $15,000
Terriers 3some (Terriers) 1 point $ 7,500
================================================================================
4. GOON OF THE WEEK
#1 GOON: Paul Laus (Freeze):
70 PIM's in 11 games 4-1-1
Paul was just five minutes shy of the performance he put up last paper and
actually lost a fight. Paul put up 22 minutes in a game against the Pylons in
which he took on and beat Brendan Shanahan and Darren Van Impe. His tie came
against Chris Gratton and was surprised and beaten by Bobby Dollas.
#2 GOON: Owen Nolan (Crunch):
40 PIM's in 10 games 0-0-1
Owen put up 14 minutes during a loss to the Knights. Owen got a 10 minute
misconduct about half way thru the third period after another no-call by the ref
in which Owen pretty much came unglued.
#3 GOON: Brendan Shanahan (Pylons):
45 PIM's in 12 games 1-1-0
Brendan put up 11 minutes in a tie against the Wave Runners including a fight in
overtime. Brendan and Craig Ludwig went toe to toe early in the overtime just
after Van Impe and Lappierre went toe to toe.
Here is the up-to-date standings:
Paul Laus (Freeze) 6 points $50,000
Owen Nolan (Crunch) 2 points $15,000
Rob Blake (Meatheads) 2 points $15,000
Brendan Shanahan (Pylons) 2 points $15,000
==============================================================================
5. BROTHER LOVE GM QUOTES
MELTED ICE & Brother Bill Markut
---------------------------------
BROTHER BILL... BROTHER LOVE would like to spend just a few
moments with you discussing BROTHER SERGEI BEREZIN with the
the WLUHL Penalty Box.
BROTHER BEREZIN has shown signs of becoming one of the top
wingers in the WLUHL ever with his speed, great shot and
ability to create plays out of nothing. However, this leader
and man with such potential only has 4 goals and 6 assists
so far this season, something which is not a sign of a leader
at all. What are your thoughts about this? About his play?
Brutha Love,
Sergei Berezin has been a constant source of frustration for this coaching
staff. We've been extremely patient with him and the numbers still are not
there. We've lined him up with several different linemates to no avail. We
have felt all along, and still do feel, that he is a major part of this
team's future but he needs to start showing some leadership and the
god-given skills he has. Everytime another team talks trade with us,
Sergei's name comes up and everytime we have taken his name off the table.
I've played him with Steve Heinze and Geoff Sanderson and it just doesn't
seem to click. Now, he is being centered by All-Star Michael Peca and it
still isn't clicking! Sergei is a young kid who needs a kick in the ass and
he's just about ready to get one!
Brutha Bill
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DIXIE BLACKENED VOODOO & Brother Hans Meyer
-------------------------------------------
BROTHER HANS... BROTHER LOVE would like have a few words from you
about the play of Brother Teemue Selanne's play so far this season
for the WLUHL Penalty Box.
With 13 goals and 19 assists everyone would like to know your
thoughts about the league's 2nd leading point getter.
Oh Brother Love, Thank you for this opportunity. You know the play
of Teemu Selanne has been so astounding I feel I'd like to break into song.
Actually I'll let Christina Aguilera do it for me.
"If you want to win a game, baby here's the price you pay
He's our Teemu in a bottle, gotta rub him the right way"
Yes, but what this about the league's second leading point getter? Okay,
that's how it may appear on the scoring book now, but you can guarantee
that's not how it will finish. Teemu needs to know how lucky he is to be a
Voodoo. The staff here has done nothing but find the best centers in the
league for him to play with. We mortgaged the future of his team to bring in
the likes of Marc Messier, Vincent Damphousse and last year's scoring champ
Joe Nieuwendyk.
Bringing in Joey wasn't an attempt to cut down his scoring to make sure
Teemu wins. It was a smart move. We gave up basically nothing to get him and
Adam Graves, who nearly leads the league in goal scoring. As great as a
player as Adam Deadmarsh was, he never really fit in with the team. He was
always starting fights. We are finesse players here in Dixie.
Mark my words, Teemu will win the league scoring championship and he will
catapult this team to the Stumpy Cup finals. Then maybe we'll let Joey get
some points. He seems to play really well in the playoffs.
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KITCHENER TERRIERS & Brother Brad Schott
-----------------------------------------
BROTHER BRAD... BROTHER LOVE would like to spend a few seconds
and share some of your thoughts with everyone in the WLUHL
Penalty Box.
BROTHER'S HEBERT AND LEGACE have pushed Brother CuJo out of
the #1 spot and have really put the Terriers into the category
of one of the top defensive teams in the league so far this year.
What are you thoughts about this? About Brother's Hebert and
Legace's play?
Brother Love:
The team has decided to using a rotating goalie strategy. Everytime a goalie
loses he is pushed to the back of the line. Right now brother CUJO has been
getting some tough teams to play against and has not held the mantle of our
best goalie so far this year. Our whole team has changed strategies from a
run and gun team to defencively aware team this has dramatically brought our
teams GAA. It also now secret that the team is interested in dealing one of
our goalies and that is why we our rotating the goalies in and out so other
teams will get a chance to see them play. Brother Legace and Hebert have
played great so far but we have confidence in brother CUJO that he will
bring his game up a notch to match brother Legace and Hebert play.
Brother Schott
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ST. GEORGE DRAGONS & Brother Jud Burkett
-----------------------------------------
BROTHER JUD... BROTHER LOVE would like know your thoughts about the
play of Brother DOMINIK HASEK for the WLUHL Penalty Box.
Brother Dominik is once again one of the top goaltenders in the
WLUHL this year, but this year, there is not one Dragons player
in the top 25 in scoring. Can you attribute Hasek's great play
to this? Is it because you are playing more defensive? Or is
Hasek simply the team?
Hasek is the best goaltender in the world and he's playing like it. There's
no way anybody can take that away from him. But while we may have some
deficincies as far as our offense is concerned, forcing Hasek to shoulder a
little more of the load than he did last year, there's a reason for that.
We decided to take a different approach to this season as far as our roster
is concerned. Up until last season if you were under 25 years old and
playing for the Dragons you probably would be traded before the deadline.
Every year I traded away youth to make a run at the Stumpy Cup. This year,
having won the cup I sat down, looked around and noticed that quite a few
of the guys on the Dragons roster would be retiring in fairly short
ammounts of time. In addition, We really didn't have anybody who would be
able to step into their positions when they did decide to hang up their
skates. Housely, Hasek, Patrick, Nieuy, Graves, Tinordi to name just a few
are in their mid-30's and in the the twilights of their careers.
I think having the cup here in St. George and the incredible ammounts of
draft picks we were able to secure in what was one of the deepest drafts in
some time made the decision to change our focus and concentrate on bringing
along some younger players an easy one to make. Legwand, Sarich,
Vishnevsky, Finley and Luongo are names that you'll be hearing quite a bit
about in St. George in the future.
We had to make some tough decisions here when we decided to go that route
and one of those decisions was trading away two of our top scorers last
year, Adam Graves and Joe Nieuwendyk. Do we miss those guys? Hell yes, and
looking at the fact that we don't have a player in the top 25 in scoring
shows just how much we miss those guys right now. But in a few seasons I
think we'll be a much better team for it.
We're now the deepest team in the league when it comes to goaltending.
Hasek really does carry much of the load right now but Luongo, Finley and
Johnson are all three going to be very good NHL goaltenders when Hasek
hangs up his Dragons sweater. We also got Adam Deadmarsh out of that trade
and at 25 he'll be a major contributor to this team for a very long time.
So I guess the long answer to your question is yes, right now the Dominator
is carrying a bit more of the load this year than he was last year. But he
is far from being the entire team. It's just that right now a lot of the
key players in our future plans are still in the minor leagues and earning
ratings as rookies in the NHL.
Until those kids are ready to step into the lineup we'll be a little thin
as far as scoring is concerned but that'll change. We're just biding our
time.
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HALIFAX FORCE & Brother Gerald Mayo
------------------------------------
BROTHER GERALD... BROTHER LOVE would like to spend a few moments with
you, talking about the play of BROTHER Ziggy Palffy for the WLUHL
Penalty Box.
BROTHER ZIGGY has only played 9 games this year and only has 3 goals
and 2 assists. This is not what someone who is expected to be the
leader of the team should be doing. What are your thoughts about this/
About Brother Ziggy's play?
Palffy? Let's see... McKay, Muir, Odjick, Quint... oops, too far...
oh yes, that guy I pay 3 million bucks a season to watch hockey games.
Damn shame about his injuries this season; it seems he picked up a case of
"holdoutitis" while moonlighting for a minor league team in New York, and
it's been hard to keep him in the lineup since.
He is one of the top players in this league, so of course we miss him,
but his absence allows other fine players like Robert Svehla, Cory Stillman,
Rob Reichel and Randy McKay to emerge from his shadow. The only big difference
is that we can't seem to beat the Hacksaws anymore - Ziggy loved running up the
score against those guys last season. Our team is playing at .500 with Palffy
out of the lineup, so I think it's best to just sit tight and wait for him to
come back so we can kick some Slash butt and take first place back.
I guess the bottom line, as far as the vultures who read this paper are
concerned, is that Palffy is going nowhere. Although my Ouija board tells me
he'll suffer from holdoutitis this season and next, it also says he'll be one
of the top five players in the league after that.
Note: To fulfill WLUHL requirements for pro wrestling antics at interviews,
The Cuban Assassin (bearing a passing resemblance to Fidel Castro) withdrew
a foreign object from his green army fatigue tights and coldcocked Brother Love
in the back of the head. After mumbling some Communist propaganda in a language
distantly related to Spanish, he was chased out of the ring by Atlantic Grand
Prix
fan favourite Leo Bourque, an Acadian fisherman from New Brunswick.
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TOLEDO FREEZE & Brother Jack Jordan
------------------------------------
BROTHER JACK... BROTHER LOVE would like to spend a few moments
with you, sharing some of your thoughts about BROTHER Paul Laus
with the WLUHL Penalty Box.
Once again, BROTHER PAUL is not just one of the top enforcers in
the league, but the man with the Most Penalty Minutes, the Most
Fights and the Most Fights won. What are you comments about this
and about his play?
Well Brother Love, Paul has really been a big force
for us this year. He worked hard in the off-season
with Derian on some of his defensive skills in his own
end and it's really paid off. Everyone in the WLUHL
knows about Paul and his ability to lay the smack down
but what was lacking was some solid defensive play.
He's chipping in offensively from time to time and
doing a great job in the corners this year. As far as
the brawling goes, it's no secret I like tough guys on
my team and Paul is as tough as they come. A couple
of games ago Paul had a two-for-one night. Shanahan
tried Paul and took a beating and then for some reason
Darren Van Impe tried Paul late in the third only to
have the smack laid down on his roody poo candy ass.
Paul left the game with 2 fights won and a whopping 22
PIM's in one game. Paul isn't doing this alone
though. I have the meanest defensemen in the league
with Derian, Bryan Marchment, Paul Laus and Dave
Manson. All of these guys are feared and this league
better be prepared if I decide to turn them loose
because it won't be pretty.
=============================================================================
6. BROTHER LOVE INTERVIEW WITH STORMERS GM JASON KOLSRUD
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.... WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ONCE AGAIN
TO THE BROTHER LOVE SHOW!!!!! BEFORE I GET STARTED, I WOULD JUST
LIKE TO LET EACH AND EVERY GM OUT THERE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!!!
Now, so far this season I have sat back and watched many things
unfold, but nothing, not one thing more shocking so far then
the play of Jason Koslrud's Sioux City Stormers. With that being
said, earlier this week I was able to meet up with Jason and talk
to him about the team's success so far in the season and we were
able to talk about a lot of things.
1. Now, BROTHER JAY, I would like to thank you for spending some time
with me here today, on the BROTHER LOVE SHOW! Now the preseason for
you was okay as I remember, I belive you went 3-4-0 and people around
the league predicted your team would finish 5th in your division.
You answered the skeptisism with a 6-0-4 start to the season which
has in turn, after 36 days, put your team 3rd overall in the league
with a 11-3-5 record. Brother Love is just wondering what you think
about this success?
I'm very honored to finally get on your show. Honestly, I'm not even sure what
to think. I have been concentrating so hard on getting the guys ready for each
game and trying to keep both goaltenders happy that I really haven't given much
thought to our start. I feel it is somewhat long overdue. Maybe not the
undefeated start but actually being on the winning side of five hundred.
Patience is definately a virtue after the seasons I have had here in the
beginning.
2. Brother Love also wants to know if you have anything to say to those
who doubted you?
I would like to say to those who doubted me to just keep doubting me all the way
thru the playoffs. Because the more people doubt me the more I want to prove
them wrong.
3. As we look at the overall stats, we see that you have your Stormers
sitting 7th overall for team offense, and 8th overall for team defense,
now is this the way you are working your team? Are you looking to make
it a defensive team? an offensive team? Or is just plain old hard work?
It is definately gonna be more hard work game in game out over anything else. I
would like to see the team crack down a little more defensively as I feel we
have the guys to put the puck in the net. We have a good corp of Dmen and two
good goalies but sometimes we try to get into run and gun games with some teams
we shouldn't which is what I am trying to avoid with this team. If we can keep
it a tight checking work along the boards game then we will have alot of chances
to win games.
4. Right now Dougie Gilmour is tied for 12th in the league for scoring
with 4 goals and 16 assists. Early on, many people did not believe that
this aging veteran would be able to lead the team like he is today.
However, you have found a way to believe in Brother Gilmour. Is there
one thing that you can think of that is making this man tick?
His needed leadership. We sat down with him and told him we were going to need
his leadership with the young centers that we have as well as the young wingers
and Dmen. We asked him to be the leader on and off the ice and he is doing just
that. He blends well with Miroslav Satan and helping immensley with Travis
Green, Joe Thornton and Yuha Ylonen.
5. As we know, that everything can be perfect now can it? As we look
up and down your bench, my Brothers and Sisters have not seen Mr. Domi
playing that much at all, no we have not. Is there any reason for this?
As well, Brother Russ Courtnall has only scored once this season, this
must be a disappointment for you is it not?
Mr. Domi kindof lost his roll as enforcer when I picked up Kelly Chase. Chase
isn't quite the all around player that Domi is but he, I guess you could call
him, the teacher's pet. I've been trying to nail down Chase to play with Twist
for some time now and it seems to be working so I don't want to change that.
Russ has been puzzling so far but he has had alot of nagging injuries which have
kept him out of the lineup. He has only played in 15 of the first 22 games and
has been pretty much playing injured the whole time. We are gonna give him time
to get into his groove and if it doesn't happen we may use him to pick up
another Dman which would give Domi more ice time.
6. Finally, through the league, we have found that many teams tend to
look to those in power, those doing good and take their cheap shots and
runs at them. Two years ago it was the Hitmen, last year it was the
Dragons and the Terriers. This year, it seems that the Stormers will be
one of those teams that people will wait till you are down and kick you
once more if they get a chance. Do you have closing words for those
who find that evil in their soul to do that?
God help them. That's it. I have Tony Twist, Sandy McCarthy, Kelly Chase and Tie
Domi. If they would like to kick us anytime but especially when we are down,
team names will be taken, names will be taken and we will get back to them at
some point.
Once again, I would like to thank you BROTHER JAY for spending this time
with me on the BROTHER LOVE SHOW! I know that together, today we have
once again found that Love between us that has been missing since last
we met.
>From Sioux City, BROTHER LOVE says Thank You, So Long, Good Night and most
of all, please remember.... I LOVE YOU!!!!
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7. NEWS AND RUMOURS
VOODOO:
Voodoo GM Hans K. Meyer admitted publically Friday he will do anything it takes
to win the Stumpy Cup this year. On a specail appearrance on the Donny and Marie
Show (he's a big fan) Meyer told the duo he will trade any and all available
prospects for talented veterans who can propel the team to victory. "after the
Dragons did it last year, I figured I had to do it this year," he said. "The cup
can't leave St. George." "But you only have one prospect left, " an observant
Donny noted. "What are your plans for Robyn Regeher?" Meyer confirmed he was
just about to sign a deal to send Regeher to one of his favorite prospect
destinations for a quality Dman who can play and supplement the team's depleted
defense corps. In other news, Meyer also san a duet of Puppy Love with Donny and
wore purple socks.
MEATHEADS:
Kevin Miller and Shane Doan's jobs have been to be defensive checkers, with no
points and a huge minus in the +/- column. Their ice time has been decreasing as
of late. Rookies Manny Maholtra, Marty Reasoner and Harry York have been picking
it up. Look for Miller and Doan to lose even more ice time to the rookies if
their play doesn't improve soon. Paul Coffey has played in all 20 games this
season so far, and only has 1 measely assist to show for it. He was brought in
to help with the offence and it looks like an old over the hill old-timer, like
one Gm warned this team. Look for Coffey to get less ice time now that Krupp is
back. Maybe even more press box time. The Meatheads improved from tied for 10th
in the confernce, to tied with the Hitman for 8th and final playoff spot. The
Meatheads went 7-4 in those 11 games with 36 goals for and 33 goals against,
quite an improvement in the goals for, although the goals against only increased
by 6 over the first 11 games. In other news, the improved play of Gretzky has
installed enough confidence in him, that the GM has said that Gretzky will play
WLUHL10 as well before he retires. Some teams have shown interest in Tverdovsky
and Blake but they will be going nowhere because theyh are the pillars of the
Meatheads defense. With the Hitmen improving their offence, the Meatheads are
facing a tough time to make the playoffs. The Meatheads ar looking to catch the
Force and Knights hopefully for the 7th and 8th playoff spot.
Jason Kolsrud
ICQ #4680899
http://www.clinton.net/~jkolsrud
jkolsrud@clinton.net
GM Sioux City Stormers WLUHL
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GM Dubuque Dominators WFHL
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